Relationships

“You've been on a bit of a roller coaster for the past year, but it's finally settling down. Do what you can to avoid getting back on it.”

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships. More so the basic connection people have with one another, not necessarily a romantic one. And reading this horoscope of mine definitely triggered something; mostly because it’s so true – though I would stretch it out and say more like two years than one. It’s amazing what you go through in life and how horrific it seems at the time but looking back on it, it may not be as life altering as you had previously thought. It seems that people all around me are re-evaluating certain relationships that have. I’m a firm believer that things happen for a reason, though you may not always see it until later.

I’m finding as I get older that people hold on to certain relationships because they are afraid of change. Possibly because the other person has been in their life for so long or there’s a certain loyalty there. But it’s unrealistic to think that things and people don’t change. And sometime with that change comes the need to allow people to enter or leave your life. It may be hard but it could make things even worse by letting someone stay or shutting them out.

For me, I am now experiencing the need to let someone go for the fourth time in my life. This isn’t to say that I haven’t let more people go but these are the ones that affected me the most. And every time it gets worse. It’s such a numbing feeling. But I guess it’s better to be a little numb than to be unhappy. Sometimes you just have to stop fighting it, especially when it’s something that you have foreseen for awhile. Perhaps the reason for it is because each person needs a change in perspective, a little time to grow in some way or plainly shouldn’t be so involved in the others person’s life. There’s so many ways to analyze it but it doesn’t alter the outcome.

What’s so true about this horoscope is that things have been so jumbled for me in every aspect of my life. Nothing went untouched: friends, family, location, jobs. But I’m finally somewhere that I can start to really learn more about myself. Another step in the process of self discovery. And I’m okay with it. I don’t want to get back on another roller coaster, though I believe that it almost impossible. But I can avoid getting back on the same one. Although I will never forget the moments and adventures that got me to where I am today, I know it’s time to let go and begin something new. And I can feel it coming.

Like I said in another post, last year was that of change, this year that of transition and next year is about doing me the way I want and completely on my own terms…finally!